Today I was thinking about a girl
I knew in high school. She was a friend
of a friend and I spent enough time with her to get to know her fairly
well. I never really liked her, but
plenty of other people did. She was nice
and pretty and gave to charity and had good grades, and for the longest time I
thought I was jealous of her. There was
nothing I could possibly dislike about her, therefore my distaste had to have
been envy, right? Until I thought about
it further, and I realized that was exactly what it was. She was nice and she was pretty. And that was all. She was always smiling and nicely dressed and
never offended a single person. She was
the kind of person who made an only slightly less normal face in pictures when
everyone else was making goofy faces.
People always interpret “nice” to
be a compliment, but what does that mean, really? How does being nice contribute to who you are
as a person? Sure, it means you’re well
liked, and there’s really nothing wrong with being nice on top of a bunch of
other attributes but what does “nice” add on its own?
I’ve always viewed life as a challenge.
There’s so much information readily available to you, and the entire
point of your life is to sort the information, evaluate it, form opinions and
apply them to the world to make an impact.
What bothers me about people who are perpetually nice is that they never
accept the challenge. They spend so much
time focusing on not offending other people that they never look at life from
difficult perspectives – perspectives that aren’t readily accepted by the
majority of people or considered socially acceptable. And if they do consider these perspectives,
they’re too afraid of being rude to inform and challenge others.
Life isn’t about being nice. Life is about making progress and creating
change, whether or not that change is offensive at the time. I’m not saying not to be kind. Being kind and being nice are not always
synonymous. I believe progress should
move in the direction of kindness, in order to make the world a better place
for everyone. But to get there, we need
to challenge ourselves and we need to challenge others. So don’t sit back and watch other people
change the world. Be opinionated, be
bold, and listen to what other people have to say. But don’t be afraid to argue and don’t be
afraid to be a little bit rude. Be brave
and smart and independent, but don’t ever let yourself be defined simply by
“nice.”
